Probashe

Solitude

Again after quite a hiatus. This time I am writing from the US. My second visit to foreign country after Malaysia. People say US is an evil country trying to rule the world. I don't care what this country is doing or not but surely it really cares for its people, its citizens. It works for them. The people here are way too broad minded ( if only the people back in my country were 0.1% broad minded as the people here...!!!)

Payback

Sometimes I wonder as to what grave mistakes I had done in my past life so as to my curent life being so very fucked up. Did I murder anyone? Did I cheat on anyone? Dupe anyone? What exactly did I do?

Regretting as to why I didn't appear for GSI exam inspite of the centre being just 5 minutes walking distance away from my home. Aahhh I remember- "he" was to come to my house that day for the 1st time. Appearing for CIL campussing- one of the worst regrettable decisions in my life topping the list. & choosing RI 4 is just the icing on the cake. Had started believing in the most controversial character of the world-"GOD" but fortunately present turn of events helped me backtrack myself. There's nothing called GOD. All are plain & simple BS. This place has sucked all enjoyment, my life from my life. Never before have I sincerely wanted not to be a part of this world as I do today...

Sigh. If only my wish came true 

BS

Needed someone/something to puke out the things that are the reason for my indigestion right now. Since I have a scarcity of "someone" in my life, took refuge in "something" and here I am, writing BS in my blog, at 01.30 hrs whereas I should be sound asleep now in order to wake up in time & attend office. Aaahhh now from the word office I remember that shittiest place in the world about which I used to dream of while in school-"kobe chakri korbo nije taka kamabo". A**hole. That adjective I used for me. Yes me. Took a few bad decisions in life- for which I have to regret throughout my goddamn God(if He exists)-forsaken f***ed up life. 

& oh yes, I will never forgive you for what you said to me today. You just proved what position I hold in your life-for the second time.. Thanx.