Thursday 14 July 2011

Nostalgia......

When I started visualizing my life, which is, quite different from mere seeing it, the love songs that constantly played themselves automatically as a childhood subconscious extremity, had quite a ruthless effect on me.

I held the hilt of the sword of my life, but did not notice the bend of it towards the ''trait of fools''- emotions. The river of my emotions , then, was more of a kind of jet- though a path breaking/making mirage- but still, not something on which one or I, in this matter, could count upon.

Do you know what happens when we are moving too swiftly and are about to collide head on- well, for me, I closed my eyes, with my eyes being an unnatural synonym to my ideological and intellectual needs and the spluttering irony being that literally, those were my eyes that were making my way and mind go astray.

''balanced may be the heartbeat, balanced may be the choices,
but the balanced always do trip, when it comes to voices..''
I was an integral part of the balanced youth fraternity, though in quite the same manner as Kashmir is of India, but when it came to the cupid call, I was the predator, though not having the same night spark, so conspicuous to all of the kind.

This made my walls crumble within me and the rebel of rubble caught me napping. I was down the bottomless pit..... No air, no crops, no swords, no rivers...always going down.. But every bottomless treachery has its own depths, so I believe that now for me, I ended up lying in the midway- the point where I could move down no more.

So my emotions, my love and my life are the tripod, usually a crumbly one, but if something is tried to balance over it, well, who the hell knows?? So I do say sometimes-
''Wrong was I in loving him, though it still seems right,
Longing for love, for me, is a never ending fight....''

Monday 11 July 2011

Back to the cage again...!!!!

Back to the cage again and no matter what, no matter how much I try to look to the brighter side of things, situations/circumstances just force me to be a pessimist again and again...!!! I knew, I knew it that when everything good is happening with me, something bad, very ugly is just waiting for me in the near future and bingo...!!!! I don’t know why this always has to happen with me only....!!! Why not NtGh..???
NtGh had a terrible experience and oh yes...!!! NtGh got an excellent wonderful gift and she’s forever going on bragging about it (well, she has the right to brag about it...!!!) Yeah yeah we know that’s why you had dumped SyndBn and you won’t hesitate in future either... Now it’s just the time to wait and watch....
I hate this place, I don’t know what’s in store for me in future and why do I have to keepn returning to this place...????????????? Aaaaarrrrrrggghhhhhhh.....!!!!!!