Payback

Sometimes I wonder as to what grave mistakes I had done in my past life so as to my curent life being so very fucked up. Did I murder anyone? Did I cheat on anyone? Dupe anyone? What exactly did I do?

Regretting as to why I didn't appear for GSI exam inspite of the centre being just 5 minutes walking distance away from my home. Aahhh I remember- "he" was to come to my house that day for the 1st time. Appearing for CIL campussing- one of the worst regrettable decisions in my life topping the list. & choosing RI 4 is just the icing on the cake. Had started believing in the most controversial character of the world-"GOD" but fortunately present turn of events helped me backtrack myself. There's nothing called GOD. All are plain & simple BS. This place has sucked all enjoyment, my life from my life. Never before have I sincerely wanted not to be a part of this world as I do today...

Sigh. If only my wish came true 

BS

Needed someone/something to puke out the things that are the reason for my indigestion right now. Since I have a scarcity of "someone" in my life, took refuge in "something" and here I am, writing BS in my blog, at 01.30 hrs whereas I should be sound asleep now in order to wake up in time & attend office. Aaahhh now from the word office I remember that shittiest place in the world about which I used to dream of while in school-"kobe chakri korbo nije taka kamabo". A**hole. That adjective I used for me. Yes me. Took a few bad decisions in life- for which I have to regret throughout my goddamn God(if He exists)-forsaken f***ed up life. 

& oh yes, I will never forgive you for what you said to me today. You just proved what position I hold in your life-for the second time.. Thanx.

Inhibitions

There are things which I wanna do, things which I don’t wanna do… Without anyone shouting out the restrictions/inhibitions to me… But alas, I am now “married”, “working woman”, “into a professional world” and blah blah… Few days back I got a forwarded mail whose synopsis was “don’t think, but do whatever you want to do. Many people spend their life in thinking whether  they should actually do it and waiting for someone else to do the thing for them or offering them the apt situation”.